"Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face is all wet and your day was rough
Your face is all wet and your day was rough
So do what you must do to find yourself
Wear another shoe, paint my shelf
Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong
I think I found a place where I..."
-Damien Rice
I've been inspired by a friend to be transparent about life. My life is far from perfect. I tend to write only about the good things. But it's in the tough things that God works. It's in the tough things that you grow and learn. It's in the tough things that someone else can relate to you.
Money is little. Sleep is little. Emotions are running high. Pretty sure I had a minor melt down last night. Thankfully I have a husband who just shut our door and let me sleep while he cleaned the house even though my melt down was directed at him. "Love your wife as Christ loves the church." Thats probably hard to do when your wife just yelled at you about diapers ;)
It's in these times that God speaks the loudest. It's also in these times I hear the enemy LOUDER! "Your not good enough, thats already been done, who would want that, who would want to listen to you, your dreams are ridiculous, you're a copy cat, you don't have time, her house looks better" These plus many more things run through my head while i'm praying about my next steps in life. How is it that we have such a big God yet the enemy's voice always seems to be bigger?
Honestly I haven't quite figured that last question out yet. I do know that all of those things are lies. I know what i'm called to do, who i'm called to be, and even though I don't know the "hows" and "whens" of it, I know God has it planned out for me and i'm living in that plan NOW.
I'm a confident person. I'm not easily embarrassed. I don't let things "get" to me. But lately....i've been letting things get to me. My confidence is down a few degree's. But it's OK! That doesn't mean that i'm unhappy or hate my life or want everything to change. It just means God is refining me.
"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver." Psalm 66:10
You have probably heard about how silver is "refined" but just in case you haven't..... The sliver has to be held so that the hottest part of the flame can burn away the impurities. The sliver smith has to continue to scrape away whatever junk comes to the top until he can look at the piece of sliver and see his reflection.
God is burning off my impurities and he is going to keep doing it until he can see his reflection in me. We are made in his image. I'm very thankful for the tough times. I know that i'm being refined daily and that it will never stop. Each day I'm growing closer to Him.
So bottom line
There will never me enough time in the day.
Someone's house will ALWAYS look better than yours.
Your friend/neighbor/co-worker will always make more money than you do.
You will always feel like you could have done more.
You will make mistakes.
But LIVE. Live life the best you can possibly live it. Live it with JOY. Live it with PEACE. Live it with a SMILE on your face. Wake up each day and choose to kiss your husband, your cat, your kids more! Talk to your baby while you change the grosses diaper you've ever seen. Teach your kids patience. Ask for help.
PRAY.
"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Please let me know what you think! Leave comments! Don't hide behind the computer!!! Share your thoughts, your story could help someone else :)
Oh sweet Mallory---it is in our vulnerability that God wants to move most. Yes someone will always have a "better" whatever it is, but you will get to the point where you don't even notice. The more you cry out to Him and draw near to Him...those things? They grow strangely dim. Seek Him first and then all things will be added unto you-pressed down, shaken together and running over!! All your needs, desires, wishes and dreams.
ReplyDeleteYou know what else I learned? The more the enemy tries to keep you from something, the more you should be encouraged to DO IT. Because it means there is something GREAT on the other side. Something he doesn't want you to have. So don't entertain the lies. Instead, today, make a step. One little step forward- toward your dream, toward your desire. One step will lead to the other and then you'll look back and go wow! how did that happen??--the answer is God. Faith and trust and being led by the Holy Spirit.
Push through. Keep fighting. We've all been there. some are still there. God will use your transparency to teach and encourage others. Continue to allow Him to work through you so that others can see Him.
You have gifts to be shared. Don't let the enemy rob you of the blessing of sharing and giving.
I'm so glad you wrote about this. I've been struggling lately with some of these issues....and there is someone that always tells me "It depends on how you view it"...and I realize I have been viewing things the way the enemy wants me to. Instead of realizing these are blessings, I've been treating them as nuisances, "why does this have to happen?" and "can anything go right?" I'm also guilty of coveting others' possessions, instead of being blessed with what I have. So, again, thank you.
ReplyDeleteYou posted a picture of Ella laying in your bed and of course my first thought was how beautiful she was then I noticed how clean the room looked and thought to myself "Ella is only a week old and look how clean her house is Brinley is already 2 months old and look at this mess" then I seen how bright the room looked and the next day I went and bought paint and me and Nic painted our kitchen bright red. After we were done I realized nothing we previously had matched so I needed to spend more money that we don't have to redecorate. Moral of that long drawn out story is that my once beautifully decorated kitchen now has gorgeous red walls with nothing on them. That's what the enemy wanted I lost focus of what was important and I spent time and money on a materialistic need..that's ok though because I learned from that and never again will I compare what I do or don't have to someone else because what's important cannot be compared. He didn't win that time..my family did!
ReplyDeleteMe and Nic have talked about going to church for a long time but when I seen how many people loved Ella before she was even born and how happy and just in love with life you are I realized we can't wait anymore because I want Cadence and Brinley to grow up not knowing there is any other way to feel than that. So I..no we thank you for giving us that little push. You are beautiful person inside and out!
Thank you all for your comment/encouragement.
ReplyDeleteJessica- So great to hear what's going on in your life and that I'm not the only one experiencing these things! Your so right about church. I couldn't live here without my church family. Their love for our family is indescribable. God is the reason for our joy. He has blessed us in so many ways and I know He has the same for you and your family! There is nothing greater than raising your kids to have relationship with Christ! Thanks so much for being open. You never know who you might inspire :)