Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Keeping My Marriage HOT

J and I just celebrated 7 years of marriage. We spent two nights at the coast with out Ella. WHOA!  I seriously can not believe how blessed I am to be married to him. He amazes me more every day. I strive to be as selfless as he is.

This past year was our first year of marriage with a child. WOW did that change everything. We are enamored by this little girl and she can easily consume our every moment. It's so easy to lose a relationship with each other because most of the focus has to be on her since she isn't self sufficient in any way yet.

Here are the few tips we have learned in our one year with a child to keep our marriage hot!

This can easily take all the spice out of your marriage. We want her to grow up knowing that our bed is a special place for mommy and daddy. She can join mommy in the mornings when daddy goes to work.

From the time J gets home from work until Ella goes to bed is our "all about Ella" time. We focus on her and playing with her. She goes to bed between 7:30 & 8 every night. This wasn't an easy task. She didn't want to sleep in her crib. She didn't want to sleep through the night. She naturally only wants to be where we are. We fought this with ear plugs. Literally. Maybe that sounds cruel but I assure you she was safe. We have a video monitor where we could check on her. We went through about a week of screaming in her crib and now she sleeps like an angel every night. No fuss at all.  This gives us time as a couple to talk. Do projects. Pray and read together. Worship together. Just sit and do nothing...together. It's great! I look forward to it every day!

This one really just started becoming regular for us about a month ago. It has made a huge difference in our marriage. We have never had a regular date night. Before kids every night was date night. This past year it has been much harder to spend quality time together. We go on a date every other week. I mean leave the house and Ella isn't invited. You might be saying how can we do that? We have no one to watch the kids and we can't afford a baby sitter. I can assure you that there is another couple you know with kids who would be more than happy to trade off every other week with you. (if you have any fun date night tips leave them in the comment section:)

4. TALK. But mostly listen!
Talk to each other. Talk about whatever. It doesn't always have to be a deep conversation about how you really feel about everything. Although that is necessary some times. I tell J about everything Ella and I did during the day even if it's not much and he listens and responds. I listen to J talk about work and what he built and what kind of wood they used and something called conversion varnish that I know nothing about but comes up a lot. I love hearing him talk about doing things that he loves to do and he loves that I sit and listen.

We are currently in a series called White Picket Fences at our church {Revolution Church} and it has given us some great tips on how to be better spouses and parents. Even if you don't live here you can check out all the sermons online. Click here to check it out.

Leave a comment and let me know what you do to keep your marriage hot! I'd love to hear!


  1. We are working on date night; as soon as my mom gets moved, it's on!

    We do pretty much the rest of those, though. Keep it up, Dorroughs!

    1. Thanks Gray's! We love having friends like you two who care about their marriage!

  2. Young parents or parents of the very young will appreciate hearing how to toughen up against the cry of the baby. It is hard but just knowing that others do it goes a long way to preventing the guilt associated with letting baby 'cry it out'. I never could do it with #1 but I was wiser with #2. Sounds to me like you are either wise beyond your years in your marriage or you have done well to take great advice.

    1. It was SOOO hard to let her cry! But in so glad we did. Our family life as a whole is better because of it. I'm just a good advice taker!


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