Keeping My Marriage HOT

J and I just celebrated 7 years of marriage. We spent two nights at the coast with out Ella. WHOA!  I seriously can not believe how blessed I am to be married to him. He amazes me more every day. I strive to be as selfless as he is.

This past year was our first year of marriage with a child. WOW did that change everything. We are enamored by this little girl and she can easily consume our every moment. It's so easy to lose a relationship with each other because most of the focus has to be on her since she isn't self sufficient in any way yet.

Here are the few tips we have learned in our one year with a child to keep our marriage hot!

1. DO NOT LET HER SLEEP IN OUR BED. repeat DO NOT LET HER SLEEP IN OUR BED.
This can easily take all the spice out of your marriage. We want her to grow up knowing that our bed is a special place for mommy and daddy. She can join mommy in the mornings when daddy goes to work.

2. BED TIME
From the time J gets home from work until Ella goes to bed is our "all about Ella" time. We focus on her and playing with her. She goes to bed between 7:30 & 8 every night. This wasn't an easy task. She didn't want to sleep in her crib. She didn't want to sleep through the night. She naturally only wants to be where we are. We fought this with ear plugs. Literally. Maybe that sounds cruel but I assure you she was safe. We have a video monitor where we could check on her. We went through about a week of screaming in her crib and now she sleeps like an angel every night. No fuss at all.  This gives us time as a couple to talk. Do projects. Pray and read together. Worship together. Just sit and do nothing...together. It's great! I look forward to it every day!

3. DATE NIGHT
This one really just started becoming regular for us about a month ago. It has made a huge difference in our marriage. We have never had a regular date night. Before kids every night was date night. This past year it has been much harder to spend quality time together. We go on a date every other week. I mean leave the house and Ella isn't invited. You might be saying how can we do that? We have no one to watch the kids and we can't afford a baby sitter. I can assure you that there is another couple you know with kids who would be more than happy to trade off every other week with you. (if you have any fun date night tips leave them in the comment section:)

4. TALK. But mostly listen!
Talk to each other. Talk about whatever. It doesn't always have to be a deep conversation about how you really feel about everything. Although that is necessary some times. I tell J about everything Ella and I did during the day even if it's not much and he listens and responds. I listen to J talk about work and what he built and what kind of wood they used and something called conversion varnish that I know nothing about but comes up a lot. I love hearing him talk about doing things that he loves to do and he loves that I sit and listen.


We are currently in a series called White Picket Fences at our church {Revolution Church} and it has given us some great tips on how to be better spouses and parents. Even if you don't live here you can check out all the sermons online. Click here to check it out.


Leave a comment and let me know what you do to keep your marriage hot! I'd love to hear!

My Sweet Baby Boy

I've never spoke about our sweet baby until now. Everything happened so fast that I never had the chance to share about him.

We started trying to have kids in October of 2009. It was so exciting to know that any time I could be pregnant! I was praying over our little baby before he was conceived. It took a little longer than expected. Everyone I was close to never even really "tried" to have kids so when we didn't get pregnant right away of course worry started to set in. "Can I even get pregnant?" "What if my heart of adoption is because we can't conceive?" Each month i'd take test after test just waiting and waiting. 

In June of 2010 I finally got those longed for 2 red lines!!!!! Excited no where near describes it! I remember J patiently waiting on our bed as I did the deed. I came out with a huge smile and he knew what that meant! I'll never forget the look on his face. Priceless! Joy filled our hearts like never before!!

I made a Dr's appt right away. We got conformation that I was pregnant! So happy!! We decided to go ahead and start telling people. It was so fun to call our parents and friends. We had waited over 5 years before we decided to even start trying to have a baby. So needless to say our families were ready!

I knew from the moment I saw those 2 red lines that I was carrying a sweet baby boy. I had no doubt. Once again that feeling in your stomach!

I went back to the Dr to have my HCG levels checked again (which looking back I would have known that things weren't quite right but it was my first time so I thought this was standard) and this time they stayed the same. Now medically that meant your baby wasn't growing or else they would have went up significantly but I still had hope and believed 100% that God could do anything and our baby was fine. I went back 1 week later and had my blood drawn again to check the levels. I remember patiently waiting for the results. Finally a couple of days later I was at work when my Dr called me. 

That call changed my life forever. I'll never forget the causal-ness of that conversation. She said "your baby isn't viable." I didn't even know what that meant. "Your baby isn't alive". Wow those words would ring in my ears forever. Of course I immediately lost it. I ran to Melissa (my Pastor's wife) and just sobbed. I'm sure she said really encouraging things but I really don't remember. She just let me cry. I needed that. 

I still had to call J. He met me at home where we prayed and cried together. Then all the calls to friends and family. It was very hard. At the time I regretted that we had told everyone. I was so mad that I was having to go back and re-tell everyone that now I wasn't pregnant. But now I don't regret it. I WAS pregnant. I WAS carry my little boy. He WAS worth the excitement. He IS still part of my family. I'm glad that everyone was excited for us and our little boy. 

I knew God would bless us with another baby. I was so sad but so glad that I knew my sweet boy was with Jesus. I know he had plenty of friends there to play with and welcome him home. I know God can take care of him much better than I can.

The very next month we were blessed with another baby. My sweet Ella! She is a gift straight from heaven. When I look at her I remember her brother. I know that one day i'll get to hold him in my arms and squeeze his little cheeks!! 

In February of this year we went to a conference in Dallas. I was about 6 months pregnant. We were staying a hotel and J and I shared a room with our friend and student pastor, Brent. I came down for breakfast one morning and he said "I don't want to freak you out but...". I had no clue what was coming next. He's always saying something but I knew this time he was serious. He began to tell me that he woke up in the middle of the night and saw an angel standing beside my bed. He said it was a little boy dressed in all white. He said that he knew immediately in his spirit that it was Ella's guardian angel. He said I wasn't scared and didn't even question I knew exactly what it was. Now you have to know that Brent is someone who has a lot of credibility with me. He says what he means and does what he says. I trust him. As soon as he told me, it was all I could do to choke back the tears. God immediately said that the little boy was my little boy. Ella's brother. He was watching over her even in the womb. I was overwhelmed with joy and love. I was so happy that God had given me conformation that I had been carrying a little boy. 

 I thank God for taking care of my little boy. I'm so privileged to be able to raise our little girl. I thank God everyday she is here on earth with us.

I cherish every smile, every cry, every quite moment with her, EVERYTHING!

I like to think that when I see Ella smiling at "nothing" that she is looking at her little brother making silly faces at her. 

I know that there are so many women who have experienced the same loss and even greater loss. I hope this encourages you. I hope that you are assured that your babies are in heaven. That God is taking care of them and He will take care of you. 

In honor of our love for all of our children, here is a fun little print I just added to the shop. 

Also i'll be running a special 15% off everything in the shop from now until Saturday! So hurry and place your orders! Enter LOVE15 at checkout! Click here to go directly to this print!

Sleep Don't Weep

"Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love
Your face is all wet and your day was rough

So do what you must do to find yourself

Wear another shoe, paint my shelf

Those times that I was broke, and you stood strong

I think I found a place where I..."

-Damien Rice

I've been inspired by a friend to be transparent about life. My life is far from perfect. I tend to write only about the good things. But it's in the tough things that God works. It's in the tough things that you grow and learn. It's in the tough things that someone else can relate to you. 

Money is little. Sleep is little. Emotions are running high. Pretty sure I had a minor melt down last night. Thankfully I have a husband who just shut our door and let me sleep while he cleaned the house even though my melt down was directed at him. "Love your wife as Christ loves the church." Thats probably hard to do when your wife just yelled at you about diapers ;)

It's in these times that God speaks the loudest. It's also in these times I hear the enemy LOUDER! "Your not good enough, thats already been done, who would want that, who would want to listen to you, your dreams are ridiculous, you're a copy cat, you don't have time, her house looks better" These plus many more things run through my head while i'm praying about my next steps in life. How is it that we have such a big God yet the enemy's voice always seems to be bigger?

Honestly I haven't quite figured that last question out yet. I do know that all of those things are lies. I know what i'm called to do, who i'm called to be, and even though I don't know the "hows" and "whens" of it, I know God has it planned out for me and i'm living in that plan NOW.

I'm a confident person. I'm not easily embarrassed. I don't let things "get" to me. But lately....i've been letting things get to me. My confidence is down a few degree's. But it's OK! That doesn't mean that i'm unhappy or hate my life or want everything to change. It just means God is refining me. 

"For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver." Psalm 66:10

You have probably heard about how silver is "refined" but just in case you haven't..... The sliver has to be held so that the hottest part of the flame can burn away the impurities. The sliver smith has to continue to scrape away whatever junk comes to the top until he can look at the piece of sliver and see his reflection. 

God is burning off my impurities and he is going to keep doing it until he can see his reflection in me. We are made in his image. I'm very thankful for the tough times. I know that i'm being refined daily and that it will never stop. Each day I'm growing closer to Him.

So bottom line

There will never me enough time in the day.

Someone's house will ALWAYS look better than yours.

Your friend/neighbor/co-worker will always make more money than you do.

You will always feel like you could have done more.

You will make mistakes.

But LIVE. Live life the best you can possibly live it. Live it with JOY. Live it with PEACE. Live it with a SMILE on your face. Wake up each day and choose to kiss your husband, your cat, your kids more! Talk to your baby while you change the grosses diaper you've ever seen. Teach your kids patience. Ask for help. 

PRAY.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love

Please let me know what you think! Leave comments! Don't hide behind the computer!!! Share your thoughts, your story could help someone else :)